Smart Passengers

Y'all,

Some pro tips on getting into and out of them big stations with paddly things, from several people who've worked on barriers.

• Validate your ticket when getting on, regardless of what kind of damn ticket it is. Not hard. Takes less than 2 seconds. Simple insert the card into the slot or touch on your Myki, should you have one. The reason for this is that the barriers will not work if you don't. You will stand there holding other people up who are in a Big Hurry until the barrier can be manually opened for you, or you have to form a line at the one line that has a person at the barrier. You'd be saving about 2 minutes a day at busy stations. Over a year, that's close to two full days you've wasted by not validating if you're commuting every weekday five days a week, with four weeks' leave. That's one weekend of your life per year wasted by you being clueless.
• This applies doubly for Mykis. They will not work if you try to touch one off when it has not been touched on that day. They are not faulty. You didn't touch on. We know.
• Touching a Myki on or off requires holding it at the reader until it beeps. Vague waggles, or wafting it somewhere near the reader, or rubbing it vigourously will not work. The blue pole does not touch you on. If you don't touch on, refer point 1.
• You don't need those old tickets that have expired. Recycle them. Bin them. Give them to a modern artist for an installation piece. Use them for filters for joints. Just take them out of your pocket, as you will try three or four expired ones before the right one is used. And it's going to be worse with short-term Mykis - they don't have a datestamp.
• Wide barriers are for really fat people, prams, bikes, the blind and wheelchairs. Do not push past and look impatient when someone with cerebral palsy, or a pram, or a guide dog is coming through.
• Speaking of pushing, one at a time, or they will close on you. That hurts a lot. Quite a few injuries are caused by people pushing past someone else at a barrier for it to close on them. So if I ask you to wait, it's for a reason.
• If you have a Metcard, read the little green display as to why your ticket is a failure. Wrong zone means you have the wrong ticket. At Box Hill, you will be sent to the booking office, and you will wait. They will not let you through. Expired means it is yesterday. Refer the point about multiple tickets. Not validated - refer my first point. Don't go to every single barrier and try it. It's not going to work.
• If it says RE-TRY, come and see one of us. We will try it and let you through.
• Understand that we may not believe you that the card is faulty. Especially if the last three people's cards mysteriously worked when they were validated somewhere else, or touched on when you were trying to leave. (By the way, we will touch your card on to let you out. And you can wear the daily cap increase as a Stupidity Tax. Touch on when you get on.)
• A bit of politeness helps. I've done barrier work a while ago, and it is cold, your feet ache and it's low down on the scale of jobs. But smile. Or use manners. It helps.

Total. Gold.

By the way, thanks for the mention of one of my old projects - the proper gating of Box Hill and the provision of the customer service window inside the paid area. Makes me go all goosey it does!

Sound advice for today's gawping slackjawed, Herald-Sun reading, 3AW listening commuter.

Perhaps Metlink/Metro should turn this into a campaign at the stations we are about to make Metro gate under the franchise agreement (and the extra ones we're convincing them to do later!).

LS

I know someone who used to work at Melbourne Central; she has a list of things to modify on barriers to encourage people to use them properly. Exploding Mykis is one; a neon sign that flashes LIAR with an arrow that descends from the roof when people tell you they validated a ticket that isn't datestamped is another.

That sounds very BOFH... http://bofh.ntk.net/BOFH/1995/bastard95-06.php